Gaugeen

I talked to Gaugeen (my grandmother, I’ll tell the story of her name another time) over the weekend and eventually our conversation turned to the same two things it always turns to: sex and real estate. Don’t ask. I tried to veer the discussion onto another topic when Gaugeen did it for me: her solution to the “Michael Jackson problem.”

“Whether he’s guilty or not, it seems like he has a problem with little boys. So instead of wasting our tax dollars on a huge trial, the court should just order him to hire three bodyguards to watch him around the clock. They should go everywhere with him and make sure he doesn’t take little boys into his bedroom. Then we wouldn’t waste money on a trial, and he’d keep his money that he’s spending on lawyers and would use it to pay for the bodyguards. It wouldn’t cost us a thing. ‘Cause if he goes to prison, they’re gonna kill him.”

None of this innocent-until-proven-guilty thing, just make him pay to protect society!